Continue Without Michael Jackson?

I know that everyone is saddened by Michael Jackson's death but no one was closer to him than me although I didn't know him personally. I was born on Aug 29, 1994 the same day as Michael. I'm 15 and have had my last name legally changed to Jackson. But I just feel like I cannot go on. I have a disease called Pica and it is sort of like obsessive compulsive. I have an urge to eat non-food things and it has been non stop since Michael died. I shredded up everything I had of Michael's (Thriller album, a Michael doll, gloves, star of fame replica and more) and have eaten it all. The doctor tells me I will likely die if I keep this up, plus the fact that I don't care about regular food in a world without Michael and I have eaten nothing but Michael memorabilia since his death. I am buying everything I can on ebay in order to eat it, my Moonwalker jacket arrives today. How can I go on without Michael?